Dreaming about being cheated on: what it usually reflects

The short answer

Dream interpretation is not prediction and not diagnosis. This article separates what sleep research observes from what popular interpretation associates with the theme.

Dreaming about being cheated on is not proof or a prediction that it will happen. The dream usually reflects insecurity, jealousy, fear of losing someone or recent events that touched on trust, like an odd text, a show about affairs or a friend's breakup story. It can also show up in happy, secure relationships for no concrete reason.

Read also: Dreaming about your husband and Dreaming about your ex.

What a study of couples found

Researchers followed people in relationships who logged their dreams and what happened the next day. Those who dreamed their partner was unfaithful or distant tended to report more conflict and jealousy with that partner the following day, even though nothing had happened. In other words, the dream says nothing about your partner, but it can change your mood.

Source: Selterman et al., Dreaming of You, Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2014.

The most common variations

• Your partner cheating: the most common version; often reflects insecurity or fear of loss.
• You cheating in the dream: leaves guilt on waking, but does not mean you want to; sometimes it reflects boredom, curiosity or something unresolved.
• Cheating with someone you know: that person usually appears because they were on your mind, not for a hidden reason.
• A friend or coworker betraying you: shows up during periods of distrust at work or in friendships.
• Cheating with an ex: mixes old memories; see dreaming about your ex.

What to do with the next-day feeling

Before acting on it, remember the emotion came from the dream. If the dream just bothered you, telling your partner in a light way can even bring you closer. If it touched a real, recurring insecurity, talk about what is behind it rather than the dream. When jealousy is hurting the relationship, individual or couples therapy helps. Other partner dreams are covered in dreaming about your husband and dreaming about a wedding.

What popular interpretation says

An old popular belief says dreams show the "opposite": dreaming of infidelity would mean faithfulness. Another says the dream is a warning. Neither has scientific support. What research shows is a link with current emotions and worries, the continuity hypothesis. See also dream meanings according to science and culture.

Source: Schredl and Hofmann, Continuity between waking activities and dream activities, Consciousness and Cognition, 2003.