The short answer
Dream interpretation is not prediction and not diagnosis. This article separates what sleep research observes from what popular interpretation associates with the theme.
Dreaming about your boyfriend or girlfriend does not predict marriage, a breakup or cheating. When you are in a relationship you spend much of the day thinking about the other person, and dreams reuse that material, mixing affection, longing, insecurities and recent moments between you.
Read also: Dreaming about your ex and Dreaming about cheating.
What research observes
Close people appear very often in dreams, following the continuity between waking life and dream content. In relationships this is even stronger at the start, when the other person fills your thoughts all day, and in times of distance, such as a long-distance relationship.
A study of couples showed that these dreams affect the next day: people who dreamed of jealousy or conflict with their partner had more tension in their interactions, and those who dreamed of affectionate scenes reported feeling closer.
Source: Selterman et al., Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2014.
The most reported variations
| Scene | What it usually comes with |
|---|---|
| A walk or an affectionate moment | Closeness, missing them, a good phase in the relationship |
| The relationship ending | Insecurity, fear of loss, a time of change |
| Your partner cheating | Jealousy, distrust, something recent that shook your trust |
| A marriage proposal | Plans for the future, talks about moving in together |
| Someone new as your partner | Curiosity, loneliness, a single phase |
If the dream is about someone from your past, see dreaming about your ex. If it involves a wedding, see dreaming about a wedding.
How to handle the next-day feeling
Dreams about cheating or a breakup can leave you suspicious when you wake up, even with no reason. Remembering that the emotion came from the dream prevents unfair accusations. If the dream touched on a real insecurity, it can be a good starting point for a calm conversation, while awake and without blame.
Source: Selterman et al., Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2014.
What dream books say
Livro do Sonho, a popular Brazilian dream dictionary, reads the scene of being with your partner as a sign that you are surrounded by affection, and deceiving them as a sign of private arguments. In general, dream books see the dreamed partner as a reflection of where the relationship stands, which makes the emotion of the scene the key to the message.
Freud described dream books as a kind of dictionary that translates each image into another with a fixed meaning. Artemidorus of Daldis, author of the oldest dream interpretation book that has survived, advised looking at the dreamer's life before interpreting. If you see the dream as a message, both paths suggest the same thing: ask what this image brings to mind in your life right now. See dream meanings according to science and culture.
Source: Livro do Sonho, Brazilian dream dictionary; Freud, Die Traumdeutung, 1900.
What folklore says
In folk readings, dreaming about your partner is seen either as a sign of love returned or as a warning of a fight or cheating, and many readings say the dream means "the opposite". The versions contradict each other, which shows they are cultural symbols with no predictive value. See dream meanings according to science and culture.
Read also: dreaming about a kiss; receiving a gift in a dream.
Sources
- Selterman DF et al. Dreaming of You: Behavior and Emotion in Dreams About Significant Others Predict Subsequent Relational Behavior. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2014. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550613486678
- Schredl M, Hofmann F. Continuity between waking activities and dream activities. Consciousness and Cognition, 2003. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1053-8100(02)00072-7
- Nielsen TA et al. The Typical Dreams of Canadian University Students. Dreaming, 2003. https://doi.org/10.1023/b:drem.0000003144.40929.0b
- Freud S. The Interpretation of Dreams (Die Traumdeutung), 1900. Project Gutenberg. https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66048
- Livro do Sonho. Sonhar com namorado. https://www.livrodosonho.com/significado-dos-sonhos-sonhar-com-namorado-1731.htm
Frequently asked questions
Does dreaming that my partner cheats mean they will?
No. The dream usually reflects jealousy or insecurity, without predicting what will happen.
Does dreaming about a breakup mean it will happen?
No. It is common in times of insecurity or change, and it does not predict a breakup.
Why do I dream so much about someone I just started dating?
At the start of a relationship the person fills your daytime thoughts, and dreams reuse that.
Is it wrong to dream about someone else's partner?
No. Dreams mix people and situations with no link to what we truly want.
