Dreaming about a son-in-law or daughter-in-law: what it shows

A son-in-law or daughter-in-law in a dream: the short answer

Dream interpretation is not prediction and not diagnosis. This article separates what sleep research observes from what popular interpretation associates with the theme, always saying which is which.

Dreaming about a son-in-law or daughter-in-law does not announce a fight, a breakup or a betrayal in the family. The scene tends to show up when the family is changing shape: a son or daughter who has married or is about to, someone new at the holidays, a grandchild on the way. The son-in-law or daughter-in-law in the dream usually stands for that adjustment.

The dream does not reveal what the real person feels about you either. It shows your side of the relationship: affection, jealousy or the fear of losing your place. This text is a variation of dreaming about family and goes hand in hand with dreaming about your mother-in-law, the same relationship seen from the other side.

Read also: Dreaming about your mother-in-law and Dreaming about a brother-in-law or sister-in-law.

Why sons-in-law and daughters-in-law show up in dreams

The continuity hypothesis, tested by Michael Schredl and Friedrich Hofmann in 2003, says that dreams follow what fills waking life. The son-in-law or daughter-in-law reaches the night by very concrete paths: the marriage proposal, the first holiday visit, a prickly message in the family group chat.

When the scene turns into an argument, another finding is worth remembering. Studying the most recent nightmares of adults, Michael Schredl and Anja Göritz reported in 2018 that conflicts with other people are among the themes people describe. A difficult conversation during the day can come back at night harsher than it really was.

Sources: Schredl and Hofmann, Continuity between waking activities and dream activities, Consciousness and Cognition, 2003; Schredl and Göritz, Nightmare Themes, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2018.

Scenes with a son-in-law or daughter-in-law and what tends to come with them

If the baby took center stage, read also dreaming about a grandchild. If the dream was a wedding party, see dreaming about a wedding.

See also: Dreaming about a little boy and Dreaming about a niece or nephew.

When a dream about a son-in-law or daughter-in-law calls for attention

Most of the time, it is just a family dream. It deserves attention when the fights in the dream repeat almost every night, you wake up with your heart racing and the tiredness starts to weigh on your day. Frequent nightmares can be treated: talk to a health professional. See also how to have fewer nightmares.

Source: Morgenthaler and colleagues, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2018.

Freud, Jung and faith on sons-in-law and daughters-in-law

In Freud's psychoanalysis. In The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud tells the case of a patient who, right after hearing from him that every dream fulfills a wish, dreamed that she was spending her vacation with her mother-in-law, exactly what she had worked hard to avoid. Freud read the dream as the wish that he be wrong. The scene does not always mean what it shows.

In Jung's psychology. For Jung and his collaborators in Man and His Symbols, it is common to see in others traits we do not recognize in ourselves, what he called the projection of the shadow. The "freeloading" son-in-law or the "controlling" daughter-in-law of the dream may also be a part of the dreamer.

In symbols and faith. The Bible holds one of the most remembered relationships between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law: Ruth, a widow, does not abandon Naomi and tells her she will go wherever she goes (Ruth 1). It also has a son-in-law who listens to his father-in-law: Moses accepts Jethro's advice to share the work of judging the people (Exodus 18). In A Dictionary of Symbols, Chevalier and Gheerbrant treat marriage as a union of opposites, an image that also fits two families coming together.

Bringing both readings together. Research shows that the dream replays what the family is going through. Psychology and faith ask what place each person holds in this home that has changed.

Sources: Freud, Die Traumdeutung, 1900; Jung (ed.), Man and His Symbols; Chevalier and Gheerbrant, A Dictionary of Symbols.

Sons-in-law and daughters-in-law in dream books

In O Livro dos Sonhos, a Brazilian dream book, L. P. Baçan records the son-in-law as satisfaction in life and dangers in love. The daughter-in-law appears as good news in life and dissatisfaction in love. These are readings from tradition.

Freud called this way of reading the decoding method: each image is swapped for a fixed meaning, as in a key, without asking the dreamer anything. A beloved son-in-law and a son-in-law you have not spoken to in months cannot have the same meaning.

Sources: Freud, Die Traumdeutung, 1900; L. P. Baçan, O Livro dos Sonhos, 2014.

What folk belief says about sons-in-law and daughters-in-law

In Brazilian folk reading, dreaming about a happy son-in-law or daughter-in-law is a sign of peace at home; dreaming of a fight with them, a sign of gossip or of a misunderstanding that soon clears up. A pregnant daughter-in-law appears as a growing family or growing prosperity, and a son-in-law bringing a gift, as unexpected help. Dreaming about a son-in-law or daughter-in-law you do not have yet is read as a son or daughter about to fall in love. These are traditional beliefs, good for conversation, and not predictions. See what dream meanings look like according to science and culture.