Dreaming about your late father: what this dream reflects

The short answer about the father who appears in the dream

Dream interpretation is not prediction and not diagnosis. This article separates what sleep research observes from what popular interpretation associates with the theme, always saying which is which.

Dreaming about your late father does not announce illness, loss or misfortune, and it does not mean that he is trapped or unhappy. The dream usually goes along with longing and, often, with a phase of decision: changing jobs, caring for your mother, selling the family home, becoming a parent for the first time.

It is not a sign of guilt, either. Conversations left halfway appear in dreams because they are still alive in memory, not because anyone is being called to account.

Read also: Dreaming about your father and Dreaming about someone who died.

Where the dream about a father who died comes from

The continuity hypothesis, tested by Michael Schredl and Friedrich Hofmann in 2003, holds that dreams work with what occupies waking life. In grief, your father shows up in objects and dates: the toolbox, his favorite team, Father's Day, the estate paperwork, a phrase he used to repeat. All of it can become a scene.

The dream is not always calm. When they studied the nightmare themes reported by German adults, Michael Schredl and Anja Göritz found in 2018 that the death or injury of people close to the dreamer was among the most frequent subjects. Reliving your father's passing in a dream is common, and not a bad sign.

Sources: Schredl and Hofmann, Continuity between waking activities and dream activities, Consciousness and Cognition, 2003; Schredl and Göritz, Nightmare Themes, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2018.

The scenes most often reported with a late father

If the dream revolved around a farewell or tears, read also dreaming about saying goodbye and dreaming about crying.

See also: Dreaming about a stepfather or stepmother and Dreaming about a cousin.

When the dream asks you to take care of yourself

Waking up emotional after dreaming about your father is normal. It is worth seeing a psychologist, ideally one with experience in grief, when the dreams keep repeating the scene of his death, when you start avoiding sleep, or when sadness, anger or guilt fill your days for weeks. Frequent nightmares can be treated; see how to have fewer nightmares.

If the pain comes with thoughts of giving up on everything or of hurting yourself, seek help today, from someone you trust and from a health professional. In the US, you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), free and available 24 hours a day.

Source: Morgenthaler and colleagues, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2018.

The father in dream books

In O Livro dos Sonhos, a Brazilian dream book, L. P. Baçan has no entry for a father who has died. The closest is the one for the father, with a serene reading: in life, longevity; in love, protection. The entries for the dead and for corpses follow the gloomy tone of the genre and were not written with grieving people in mind.

Freud called this kind of book the decoding method, in which each image becomes a fixed meaning, as in a key, without asking the dreamer what it brings to mind. The father in your dream carries the story of the two of you.

Sources: Freud, Die Traumdeutung, 1900; L. P. Baçan, O Livro dos Sonhos, 2014.

Psychoanalysis, symbols and faith on the father who has passed

In Freud's psychoanalysis. Freud himself tells, in The Interpretation of Dreams, a dream he had on the night before his father's funeral: a printed notice said "You are requested to close the eyes", or "to close an eye". He read both versions: the duty owed to the dead man and the request to "turn a blind eye" addressed to the family, who found the simple ceremony he had chosen too plain. Grief and practical tensions entered the same dream.

In Jung's psychology. For Jung, the figures in a dream can speak of the real person and also of something inside the dreamer. Man and His Symbols insists that dreams compensate for what is missing in conscious life. In that reading, a father who appears giving advice may also be the steadiness you inherited from him, now being called upon.

In symbols and faith. In A Dictionary of Symbols, Chevalier and Gheerbrant link the father to origin, authority and protection, with a side that shelters and a side that sets limits. In the Bible, Joseph weeps over his father Jacob's face when he dies (Genesis 50:1), and the psalmist trusts: "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me" (Psalm 27:10). In Spiritism, Kardec teaches that during sleep the soul can meet those who have passed on, a belief of the doctrine without scientific proof.

Bringing both readings together. Science shows that your father comes back because he remains present in memory and in your decisions. Faith offers comfort and the hope of reunion.

Sources: Freud, Die Traumdeutung, 1900; Jung (ed.), Man and His Symbols; Chevalier and Gheerbrant, A Dictionary of Symbols; Kardec, The Spirits' Book.

Folk beliefs about dreaming about your late father

In Brazilian folk reading, a late father smiling is a sign of peace and blessing; a father giving advice, a warning to stay calm before deciding; a father working or fixing something, a phase of settling pending matters. A sad father is usually read as a request for prayer, and a father handing over an object, as an inheritance of values more than of possessions. These are readings from tradition and popular faith, not predictions. See what dream meanings look like according to science and culture.